KEYS TO EXCITING AND SATISFYING INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

Lead Bible Reference: Genesis 2:20-25

Introduction One of the three purposes of marriage is companionship. The others are procreation and to have our sexual instinct met in the healthy way. Intimacy is good for marriage. It is must be learnt very early in marriage and nurtured to grow stronger and stronger as the years role by. The strongest marriages are the ones in which husbands and wives are confidently and completely close and open to one another. Women by nature desire intimacy more than men. To them it is the essence of marriage. It makes feel them very secure in marriage. Every man must know and appreciate this. We shall look at this subject under the following sub-titles: What is intimacy Types of intimacy The importance of  intimacies Hindrances to intimacies in marriage. Keys to intimacies in marriage Maturing and growing intimacies in marriage   What is intimacy? Intimacy suggests-   Very close relationship and togetherness Close friendship Deep connectedness Sticking or Cleaving to one another   Bonding   Types of intimacy There are three types of intimacies in marriage- Physical intimacy Sexual intimacy Emotional intimacy   Emotional intimacy This is the greatest of the three. It means closeness and strong connectedness in mind and soul. Emotional connectedness is greater than physical and sexual connectedness. Emotional intimacy promotes and enhances the quality of physical and sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy is characterized by the followings: Unreserved freedom of expression of feelings and wants. Faith in one another and deep soul connection. It is your greatest asset as a couple. It contributes in no small measure to:  marital peace, strength and stability. It makes communication easy and dynamic. It promotes physical, mental, spiritual and financial health. It promotes physical, mental, spiritual and financial prosperity. It promotes long life. It makes sex life of couples great and fulfilling by promoting sexual understanding, sexual adjustment, sexual adventures and harmony. It is often easily sensed by the children and it impacts their lives positively. It must be pointed out that bottling up of feelings and wants is gravely damaging or destructive to marriage.     Why many people find it difficult to achieving emotional intimacy Emotional openness and intimacy is more difficult to achieve than physical or sexual openness and intimacy. It requires greater sense of security than is needed in sexual intimacy. Emotional openness and intimacy is often difficult to achieve for the following reasons: Fears- of rejection, denial, causing disturbance, getting punished, getting exposed and ridiculed later if the other person gets offended. Past unpleasant experience with emotional openness and intimacy. Habitual sense of insecurity. Lack of trust which could be due to many causes.   How to develop emotional intimacy Every effort you put in to develop emotional intimacy is worth it as the benefits enunciated above show. Such efforts should be directed in the following directions- Display of love in form of respect, patience, understanding, gentleness and having listening ears in dealing with one another on daily basis. Frankly discuss and agree to be open to one another and give each other freedom of expression. Always encourage your spouse to express himself or herself. Every time  your spouse tries to express  himself/herself, show appreciation and say something like ‘thank you for bringing this up, it is well appreciated. It will help me a lot to know how to do things better or understand you more.’ Do this first before any comment. Your comment if it is going to be negative should be postponed for deeper reflection. Don’t cut in, gag, damn or condemn. This will encourage both of you to naked and not ashamed. Regular assurance of of love as we did  in courtship. Sharing the values and interests of one another helps to connect. Touch one another a lot.   Sexual  intimacy As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and always be enraptured with her love. Proverbs 5:19   His mouth is most sweet. Yes he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved. And this is my friend O daughters of Jerusalem. Songs of Solomon 5:18   The importance, the hindrances and the keys Sexual  intimacy is a state of openness and freedom with one another in sexual matters.   It must be stated here that you have no private part when it comes to physical sexual intimacy in marriage as the bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:4 “The wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does  And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does.”   Sexual  intimacy is characterized by- Wholehearted commitment to one another sexually, Freedom to express and discuss sexual desires and expectations, Freedom to embark on adventures in sexual relationship and Strong will to please and satisfy one another sexually. Learning about sex at every stage of marriage with the mind of satisfying one another deeply.   Importance of Sexual intimacy Sexual intimacy makes it possible for couples to derive all the emotional and health benefits of sex. It also turns sex to a strong bonding energy for couples. Sex does not make marriage happy but when there are unmet sexual needs the marriage will not be happy.   Keys to achieving sexual intimacy Respect one another. Care for one another. Be faithful to one another. Trust one another. See sex in marriage as a duty and play your part well. Do away with unbiblical sexual inhibitions. Have sex regularly Think about a timetable and respect the timetable. Study and understand the sexuality of one another. Discuss your sex life frequently. Talk about sessions you relish. Lovingly talk  about your expectations. Try to adjust to one another Touch one another a lot.   Physical intimacy in marriage Physical intimacy in marriage is finding time and arranging your life is such ways that promote physical interactions and being in the presence of one another.   Hindrances to physical intimacy Malice Overcommitment outside the home- to work or social engagements Overcommitment to social media techs. Communication ineptitude Working in different towns or nations.   Promoting and developing physical intimacy Sleep together Bath together. Prayer together. Play together. Go out on dates. Retreat together Touch a lot. Call everyday possibly at the same time if you away from

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