Main Texts:

Genesis 2:21- 24; Matt 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16, 7:10-11; Eph. 5:31; Exodus 36:1-2, 1kings 3:10-14; 4:29-34, James 3:17, Ephesians 5:21-33


Marriage is an institution established by God Almighty. HE wants every home to be stable, strong, joyful and enduring. The devil however is bent on destroying godly homes. He will continue to fail in Jesus name. Amen. For the devil to continue to fail, for your home to be very stable, strong and joyful, you and your spouse must work hard to get closer and closer until you become one flesh.

The natural tendency is for husbands and wives to drift apart except they work hard at staying 

together. Sincere efforts, intelligent designs and spiritual forces of prayer and heavenly wisdom must be invested into your marriage in order to prevent drifting apart, disorder, and decay in your marriage.

For a couple to remain closer and closer in marriage, winning wisdom is a prerequisite and indispensable. The author of winning wisdom is the Lord God Almighty. HE is the only ONE who gives the spirit of wisdom to HIS children. Eph 1:17; Exodus 36:1-2.

Factors and forces that usually bring gaps between couples and prevent them from getting closer and closer  

In pursuit of closeness and oneness in marriage, couples must avoid the following attitudes and practices that are very divisive.

  1. Making other things or persons to seem more important to you than your spouse and marriage
  2. Over-commitment to work and career.
  3. Inadequate attention to one another and the marriage.
  4. Undue closeness to the opposite sex and flirting. 
  5. Overbearing attitudes and extreme expectations and demands. This makes you a difficult and hard-to-please person. 
  6. Unresolved differences in money matters.
  7. Sexual maladjustment and frustration. 
  8. Undue closeness to in-laws.
  9. Sense of insecurity and undue suspicions with unconscious efforts to build a wall to keep others off.
  10. Unwise management of differences and conflicts.
  11. Wanting things to go your own way at all times and wanting to be in control always. 
  12. Unbiblical cultural values and practices.

What to do to Close Gaps or get Closer and Closer as Couples:

  1. 7:24-25. Ensure that you marry in Christ Jesus. Apart from this, the foundation upon which you build your The foundation of your marriage and your home must be built on Jesus Christ, the solid rock, Matt marriage relationship should be a mutually agreeable and mutually binding plan. Marriage is a life-time commitment. It is NOT a competition; it is cooperation.
  2. Allow the Spirit of God to fill your heart with love. No matter what your spouse does, you will exude a loving spirit.
  3. Submit yourself to God’s will, that is, the blueprint of marriage as clearly stated in God’s word. Eph 5:22-25, 28, 33.
  4. Spouses must give themselves good sex. Good and regular sex is a binding force for couples. God has put it there to unite couples. Wives should not deny their husbands good sex. Husbands too must not. 1Cor 7:3-4.
  5. Couples should do things together and remain together. Eat, sleep, pray, walk and move together.
  6. Letting your spouse know that he/she is the number one in your life. 
  7. Create traditions that promote togetherness. Examples are: Daily dynamic family devotion, a chat before sleeping, a kiss before sleeping, a rubbing before sleep and a hug after prayer together. Some men are so strong or so traditional or so holy or so busy or so inexpressive that they cannot do things like these.
  8. Strike a financial understanding and sustain it. 
  9. Schedule family retreats for prayers, relaxation, recalibration, romances etc. 
  10. Remove all factors and forces that tend to create separation. Cultural inhibitions. 
  11. Create time for intimacy. 
  12. Create time for romantic activities and experiences. 
  13. Learn complimentary words and give them generously. 
  14. Learn to praise. 
  15. Learn to appreciate. 
  16. Do a regular performance review. 
  17. Demonstrate a high level of responsibility in your sex life. Avoid extra-marital affairs.

Advantages of closeness and oneness among couples 

  1. Power to stand and withstand unfavorable winds, storms and floods of life. United we stand, divided we fall. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12; Matthew 12:25-26. 
  2. Power to maintain harmony in all respects. 
  3. Closeness makes it possible for couples to live happily together in spite of their differences in view, attitude, practices, philosophy, levels of spiritual development. 
  4. Power to move forward, upward and onward. 
  5. Positive influence on the children. 
  6. Promotes mental, emotional, spiritual health, and longevity.


Spouses require winning wisdom to get closer and closer. It is winning wisdom when the wife submits to her husband. It is also winning wisdom when the husband loves the wife as Christ loves his Church. Each should strive to do this and they will get closer and closer. 

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